Bah Humbug

I must admit, Winter is far from my favorite season.  Sure, I like playing in the snow, sledding, snowshoeing, etc. as much as the next outdoor enthusiast, but after getting 1st degree frost bite on my toes years ago hiking in sandals in a little snow (not my smartest move by far), and then hypothermia during a marathon in the rain 2 years ago, I get cold easier than I used to.  And then there's the whole business of more hours of darkness.  Me no-likey.  Add the fact that all the crazy's come out on the roads in their cars around the holidays and you have a recipe for Mindy Mental Disaster.  This year we're adding something new to the mix, Derek's treatment schedule.

The 8 week treatment phase we're currently in requires 3-day hospital stays every-other week (so that's 4 rounds).  For us, 2 of those 4 fall on Thanksgiving and Christmas weekends.  I kinda feel like Cuzco in "The Emperor's New Groove" when he and Pacha are headed towards a massive waterfall with sharp rocks, and all that jazz, at the bottom and he says, "Bring it on."  I'm already in the strong current, might as well scream and enjoy the ride to the bottom of the waterfall.  Besides, I like stomach-churning rides as it is.

The 1st of these stays was the middle of November.  Derek did well.  I gotta say, with all that kid is going through, he's hardly been nauseous, has energy, goes to school most of the time, loves riding his scooter, still fights with his little brother, Benjamin, and can still pack it away at dinner (have I mentioned I'm going to have a mortgage-payment-like food bill in 10 years?).  Those few days in the hospital a week and half ago, he was nauseated, but with the help of Zofran around the clock, he was up for math on the computer, forced homework, card games, crafts, movies, me reading him a book about Buffalo Bill, and visits.  He's related to my father. That man was practically never sick and had the strongest constitution I've ever seen.  Thank goodness for genetics in this case (my varicose veins are a subject for another day).

The few times I've spent the night with Derek in the hospital (we like to take turns- Tyler, Grandpa Canova, Grandma Waddell, etc. so no one gets too burned out), I sleep like a rock!  Strange? Yes.  Do I care?  Nope!  I get sleep!  I figure, the nurses know what they're doing, the graveyard nurses are fabulous at being quieter than a mouse, and well, I'm away from home so I can't worry about dishes, laundry, the baby, etc.  I'll take it where I can get it.

This past Tuesday at Derek's school they had a little Turkey Trot.  They had each gender of each grade run at a time.  K-3rd grades were all outside at once.  They started with 3rd grade girls, then did 3rd grade boys, then 2nd grade girls, etc. (Derek is in 1st grade, FYI).  I found him before he ran (yes, the kid wanted to participate) and he was nervous!  So cute!  I gave him my distant-runner's strategy to not start out too fast, run the whole time, and push it at the end.  At the beginning, he was near the back.  By the end, he was smack dab in the middle.  What a kid!  Not only am I a proud mama because he used my strategy and passed people, but my little boy, with cancer, ran 1/4 mile without stopping and had a smile on his face the entire time!  My children amaze me!

As much as we don't like the fact that we'll spend Christmas in the hospital with Derek, not to mention most of Thanksgiving weekend, I do my best to remind myself it'll be that much more memorable, and other people have it worse.  Sometimes that doesn't make me feel better and I still want to crawl in a whole and just feel really sorry for myself and our family.  Cancer seriously sucks!  Then I see little chubby Baby Zac's smile and play with him.  I hear Derek and Benjamin singing "Bob the Builder!  Can we fix it?  Bob, the Builder!  Yes we can!", or a song from a Thomas the Tank Engine movie.  I watch Zac flail like a crazy baby in the tub cuz he loves it so much.  I snuggle with Benjamin.  I read all 3 boys stories, in my bed, first thing in the morning. I listen to Derek and Benjamin as they play with cars or trains and hear all the wild and crazy things they imagine.  I hug Tyler,  I pray.  I read God's word.  And then I remember that I really do have it all.  I have God.  I have my family.  And that's why that really long waterfall doesn't kill me.  It makes me stronger and gives me experience, whether I wanted it in the first place or not.

Here we gooooooooooooooooo!