In our American culture, we hear an awful lot about stress. There are seminars on how to decrease stress, yoga classes fill up as people hope it will help lower stress. There are articles, books, gadgets, hypnosis, etc. It's all aimed at getting us to manage or decrease our stress. Frankly, all this attention on stress stresses me out! Can I just live my life calmly and enjoy it?! Sadly, I'm often too high-strung for that. Sometimes even that part of myself stresses me out. Ya, I know.
Do I have stress? Well, I'm a mom of 3, I work part time (thankfully not full time), my husband is a law enforcement officer (parole agent), I've been suffering from low back and hip pain for months now agonizing through physical therapy and hoping to run free and clear, my mom's health is slowly failing, and my oldest child is smack dab in the middle of 3+ years of leukemia treatment. So, the answer is a resounding, "YES!" Sometimes I think I ignore how much I let all that get to me. I went to the dentist recently. My gums are swollen and I am diligent with oral care. The only thing I can chalk it up to is stress. Some may think the mind-body connection that would account for my swollen gums is poppy cock. I don't. Soul=Mind+Body I was once decent at math. This equation is just as scientific as 2+2=4. So there.
There's a TED talk by Kelly McGonigal called, "Making Stress Your Friend." My oldest sister recommended it to me months ago. I think Ms. McGonigal nailed it. She basically says that if we can view stress differently, it can bring us joy. I think everyone should watch it.
Let's face it, actually living a stress-free life is 100% impossible. It's a natural consequence of being human. If you disagree with me, you're either young and haven't had any big hard knocks yet, or you're dilusional. I'm not suggesting that stress has to cause coniptions, but hard things happening is inevitable. Suck it up, cupcake.
I wish I had the secret on how to embrace Life's challenges and be okay with how they're meant to change us. I wish I responded better when crap hits the fan. I've discovered fears in the past 2 years I didn't know could exist. I've questioned my purpose. I've questioned my faith. I've re-evaluated again and again what I want out of life. I haven't come to many conclusions... yet. At least my faith is stronger than ever and I will do all I can to facilitate its continued growth. It is my anchor. As for the other things, I'm still working on them.
There is one major thing I think our American Culture has really gotten wrong- the value we put on things. How does this relate to stress? Think about it: keeping up with the Jones', feeling a "need" to look a certain way, make a certain amount of money, drive a specific kind of car, own certain things, live in a certain kind of house, etc. Sounds like a moving target to me. Our houses are full of purely pointless stuff. We keep buying and trying to make more money to buy even more. And are we happier for it? Re-read the first paragraph. I really don't think, as a whole, we are.
We've traveled so far along this path that people go in to debt for clothes, toys, experiences, and even emergencies (because they didn't save their money and spent it on stuff instead). As a society we place a large amount of value on things that really have no value at all. Do your income and sociel status matter more than time with loved ones, relationships, or quality experiences that change you? Not on your life. And yet we think, "Oh, I'll eventually get there, after I buy this, pay that off, get a better job, buy a different house, etc" We think we're going to "arrive." We get caught in the trap of believing our stress level and happiness are circumstantial and that more outside forces control it all than really do.
Who is the captain of your soul? Is it money? Is it status? Is it a certain lifestyle? I'm tired of politicians telling me what the American Dream is. I took AP American History in high school. I know, really not a big deal, but I learned a lot because I studied my butt off (I did score a 4 on the test- 5 is the highest). No joke. Ask my mom. The American Dream is that each one of us can decide what we want for ourselves and if we work hard enough, we can achieve it. If you want 3 kids all with blue hair, you can have it (they may choose a different color as they get older- agency does that). If you want to live in a cabin in the mountains and drink herbal tea and read novels every day, you can have it. If you want to work Wall Street and make millions, you can do it. If you want to raise dozens of chickens, give them names, and show countless pictures of them to a complete stranger on an airplane, go for it (actually happened to me, by the way- I'm not the one with the chickens). We live in the Land Of Opportunity, for crying out loud! And yet so many of us heed the propaganda (probably sub-consciously) that tells what we want as opposed to us deciding that for ourselves.
And this is a major reason why I believe, as an American People, our stress levels are so unmanagable. I'm not a social scientist. I haven't traveled a ton (I have traveled some). I just know everywhere I go, I see that happiness and how stress is handled (they are closely connected) have absolutely nothing to do with materialistic pursuits (basic needs aside- I could write a whole other post on what we actually need). That's right, NOTHING!
So, since this post is now oober long, I hope we all tell Pop Culture to "shove it." I hope we ignore the sales to "save big" on stuff we don't even need. I hope we all take our lives into our own hands (even if we think we've already done that). I hope we listen to the voice within, not all the voices without all clamoring for our attention. I hope we remember what really matters and live for it- not dream about it. It takes a lot of effort and practice, continually. But, it pays dividends. Big ones. And I hope and pray I'm on that path.
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