When I was engaged to be married I got tired of people always asking me about my upcoming nuptials. With every pregnancy, I hated the question, "How do you feel?" Along with any other question pertaining to my growing belly, discomfort, etc. The reason is well, there's lots of other things going on in my life. Why don't you ask me about those? It's the same with Derek's leukemia. It's the proverbial elephant in the room. I do have 2 other children. I have a husband, a job, hobbies, etc. I'm not here to tell others what to do. It's futile anyways because they're going to do what they want regardless. I'm just ornery. So there's that. I'm trying to get over it. Deep down I want to honor others' interest in my crazy life. After all, I'm blessed with friends and family that comprise some of the most amazing people on the planet. They are therefore sincere in their inquiries. Sigh. Perhaps one day I'll learn to calm the fiery-ness inside me. Til then...
So, on to that elephant. The current phase of treatment he's in is called Delayed Intensification. The name says it all. The good news is after this phase we go to what's called Maintenance- once a month visits til the 3 years are up. Hang on!! Moving along. A few new chemo drugs entered the picture, one of which relieved Derek of haircuts for a while. I love that kid's perspective! If you recall he had an anaphylactic reaction to a chemo med back in October. In stead of getting it again this go-around, the substitute drug is 6 doses in stead of 1. That means 2 weeks of M W F chemotherapy visits. We got to do that at the beginning of this phase and will go out with a bang, doing it at the end. That bang begins Wednesday of this week. I know we all have medical insurance complaints. I do too. Don't get me started. However, this substitute drug is just shy of $10K a shot, so here's a case where insurance is a godsend.
Speaking of insurance. We won the home health battle! After finally getting the phone numbers of the right people (after yelling at a poor young woman who couldn't help me) and being directed to write a letter (which contained a fair amount of hell, fire, and damnation- all within the realm of professionalism, of course), Tyler got a call from the medical director of our insurance company. He would be on the board making the decision whether or not to grant Derek more home health visits. He informed us he was going to vote for our cause, but that his voice wasn't the only one on the board. About 10 days later he called again saying the decision had been made in our favor. Woot woot! Prayer and fasting proved themselves yet again. Not sure how much our letter swayed them, but I'd like to believe it made a difference. Guess I'll never know.
Onto those other things..... A few weeks ago my nephew got married and Tyler's cousin lost her husband in a tragic accident. We attended a funeral one day and a wedding the next. Whoa! You guys, Jesus is REAL! God has a perfect plan! Yes, life seriously sucks sometimes. Believe me, I have my fair share of crap. But He's there, ever-ready to assist. Taking our troubles away rarely fulfills His purposes. In all reality, it doesn't do us any good either. One of my favorite things about spring is watching my tulip bulbs push their way up through the soil. They sometimes even put holes in dead leaves left from fall. They are strong! It's because of the struggle they overcome. Yes, overcome. We can too, through Christ. I need the reminder. A lot.
When you're dealing with your 6 year old battling leukemia, a new alternator in your car, a bathroom flood, a mother and grandmas with fragile health, a house that always need something fixed, a 4 year old in the middle of everything, a teething baby, a husband's job that leaves him emotionally taxed (he works at a halfway house- some people's kids, seriously), there's a natural desire to want control over something. So, I'm running another marathon in May. Yep, I'm nuts. But like that's a newsflash. I may look back and shake my head at myself. I probably will. Oh well. It's paid for and I ain't payin for something and not gettin nothin out of it. So there.
Well, as chaotic as my life is, my little children are my joy. How can I be sad and depressed when I have the cutest baby in the world, a 4 year old who says the funniest things all the time, and a 6 year old who is the most robust person I know? I still am depressed sometimes, but thanks to my 3 little boys it never lasts very long. God knew being a mom would bring me more joy and happiness than I could've imagined.
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