I must admit, Winter is far from my favorite season. Sure, I like playing in the snow, sledding, snowshoeing, etc. as much as the next outdoor enthusiast, but after getting 1st degree frost bite on my toes years ago hiking in sandals in a little snow (not my smartest move by far), and then hypothermia during a marathon in the rain 2 years ago, I get cold easier than I used to. And then there's the whole business of more hours of darkness. Me no-likey. Add the fact that all the crazy's come out on the roads in their cars around the holidays and you have a recipe for Mindy Mental Disaster. This year we're adding something new to the mix, Derek's treatment schedule.
The 8 week treatment phase we're currently in requires 3-day hospital stays every-other week (so that's 4 rounds). For us, 2 of those 4 fall on Thanksgiving and Christmas weekends. I kinda feel like Cuzco in "The Emperor's New Groove" when he and Pacha are headed towards a massive waterfall with sharp rocks, and all that jazz, at the bottom and he says, "Bring it on." I'm already in the strong current, might as well scream and enjoy the ride to the bottom of the waterfall. Besides, I like stomach-churning rides as it is.
The 1st of these stays was the middle of November. Derek did well. I gotta say, with all that kid is going through, he's hardly been nauseous, has energy, goes to school most of the time, loves riding his scooter, still fights with his little brother, Benjamin, and can still pack it away at dinner (have I mentioned I'm going to have a mortgage-payment-like food bill in 10 years?). Those few days in the hospital a week and half ago, he was nauseated, but with the help of Zofran around the clock, he was up for math on the computer, forced homework, card games, crafts, movies, me reading him a book about Buffalo Bill, and visits. He's related to my father. That man was practically never sick and had the strongest constitution I've ever seen. Thank goodness for genetics in this case (my varicose veins are a subject for another day).
The few times I've spent the night with Derek in the hospital (we like to take turns- Tyler, Grandpa Canova, Grandma Waddell, etc. so no one gets too burned out), I sleep like a rock! Strange? Yes. Do I care? Nope! I get sleep! I figure, the nurses know what they're doing, the graveyard nurses are fabulous at being quieter than a mouse, and well, I'm away from home so I can't worry about dishes, laundry, the baby, etc. I'll take it where I can get it.
This past Tuesday at Derek's school they had a little Turkey Trot. They had each gender of each grade run at a time. K-3rd grades were all outside at once. They started with 3rd grade girls, then did 3rd grade boys, then 2nd grade girls, etc. (Derek is in 1st grade, FYI). I found him before he ran (yes, the kid wanted to participate) and he was nervous! So cute! I gave him my distant-runner's strategy to not start out too fast, run the whole time, and push it at the end. At the beginning, he was near the back. By the end, he was smack dab in the middle. What a kid! Not only am I a proud mama because he used my strategy and passed people, but my little boy, with cancer, ran 1/4 mile without stopping and had a smile on his face the entire time! My children amaze me!
As much as we don't like the fact that we'll spend Christmas in the hospital with Derek, not to mention most of Thanksgiving weekend, I do my best to remind myself it'll be that much more memorable, and other people have it worse. Sometimes that doesn't make me feel better and I still want to crawl in a whole and just feel really sorry for myself and our family. Cancer seriously sucks! Then I see little chubby Baby Zac's smile and play with him. I hear Derek and Benjamin singing "Bob the Builder! Can we fix it? Bob, the Builder! Yes we can!", or a song from a Thomas the Tank Engine movie. I watch Zac flail like a crazy baby in the tub cuz he loves it so much. I snuggle with Benjamin. I read all 3 boys stories, in my bed, first thing in the morning. I listen to Derek and Benjamin as they play with cars or trains and hear all the wild and crazy things they imagine. I hug Tyler, I pray. I read God's word. And then I remember that I really do have it all. I have God. I have my family. And that's why that really long waterfall doesn't kill me. It makes me stronger and gives me experience, whether I wanted it in the first place or not.
Here we gooooooooooooooooo!
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Livin' on the Edge
I've only seen "Forrest Gump" once. Doesn't he say in there somewhere that life is like a box of chocolates- you never know what you're gonna get? I think he forgot to add that some have really strange flavor combinations. Some work. Some don't, therefore leaving a pretty nasty taste in your mouth. Then there are those that are complete perfection, whether they be caramel, peanut butter, dark chocolate, etc. (Must stop, I'm now salivating).
We had a 3 week delay between the last phase of treatment and the one we're currently in. Derek's blood counts were too low and therefore needed to rebound enough for his little system to handle more chemo. I gotta admit, the break was kinda nice, the kind of chocolate from the proverbial box that you can never get enough of. Even the first bit of this current phase haven't been too shabby. He's been going to school all day. Benjamin has adjusted, and we've experienced a hint of routine and normalcy. We've gone a few hikes, visited friends and family, played outside a lot, harvested the garden, went to a Halloween party for cancer kids that we'll definitely go back to next year, and lived in the moment (I'm learning to do that a lot more these days- quite the feat for me, the Eternal Agenda Maker).
This past Thursday we knew Derek was in for a long day of chemo. One of the drugs he had to get is an infusion of more than an hour. Then he has to stick around for surveillance in case of an allergic reaction. He also needed a red blood cell transfusion. Paradise-like streaks don't last forever. About 15min in to the infusion, Derek went in to anaphylactic shock. He was surrounded by nursing staff within seconds as they took care of business. Some of the future chemo meds are in the same class as the one he reacted to, so he runs the risk of anaphylaxis again. Glorious. I'm still unsure of what kind of flavor this "chocolate" left in my mouth. I just know I don't like it and hope to never taste it again.
When Tyler went to the pharmacy to pick up the prescription for an epi-pen, he was told our insurance wouldn't cover it. Wait, what? #1. We met out out-of-pocket maximum quite some time ago. What gives? #2. There really isn't another drug option here. Any suggestions, morons? #3. (My favorite) Tyler called the insurance company and was told they cover the epinephrine for double Derek's prescribed dose. He frankly told her that would kill our child, therefore NOT an option. Who made such an asinine decision, where do they live, and where are the tar and feathers? Thankfully our hospital social worker had a voucher to cover the $400 epi-pen. The same insurance agent called back the following day saying she'd spoken with the head pharmacist there and he decided to override the lack of coverage. Clap. Clap. Clap.
Let's just say it's a darn good thing I LOVE chocolate. Perhaps I ought to pick up surfing so I can learn to ride the wave better. Utah is land-locked. Somewhat of a problem. Guess I'll stick with chocolate.
We had a 3 week delay between the last phase of treatment and the one we're currently in. Derek's blood counts were too low and therefore needed to rebound enough for his little system to handle more chemo. I gotta admit, the break was kinda nice, the kind of chocolate from the proverbial box that you can never get enough of. Even the first bit of this current phase haven't been too shabby. He's been going to school all day. Benjamin has adjusted, and we've experienced a hint of routine and normalcy. We've gone a few hikes, visited friends and family, played outside a lot, harvested the garden, went to a Halloween party for cancer kids that we'll definitely go back to next year, and lived in the moment (I'm learning to do that a lot more these days- quite the feat for me, the Eternal Agenda Maker).
This past Thursday we knew Derek was in for a long day of chemo. One of the drugs he had to get is an infusion of more than an hour. Then he has to stick around for surveillance in case of an allergic reaction. He also needed a red blood cell transfusion. Paradise-like streaks don't last forever. About 15min in to the infusion, Derek went in to anaphylactic shock. He was surrounded by nursing staff within seconds as they took care of business. Some of the future chemo meds are in the same class as the one he reacted to, so he runs the risk of anaphylaxis again. Glorious. I'm still unsure of what kind of flavor this "chocolate" left in my mouth. I just know I don't like it and hope to never taste it again.
When Tyler went to the pharmacy to pick up the prescription for an epi-pen, he was told our insurance wouldn't cover it. Wait, what? #1. We met out out-of-pocket maximum quite some time ago. What gives? #2. There really isn't another drug option here. Any suggestions, morons? #3. (My favorite) Tyler called the insurance company and was told they cover the epinephrine for double Derek's prescribed dose. He frankly told her that would kill our child, therefore NOT an option. Who made such an asinine decision, where do they live, and where are the tar and feathers? Thankfully our hospital social worker had a voucher to cover the $400 epi-pen. The same insurance agent called back the following day saying she'd spoken with the head pharmacist there and he decided to override the lack of coverage. Clap. Clap. Clap.
Let's just say it's a darn good thing I LOVE chocolate. Perhaps I ought to pick up surfing so I can learn to ride the wave better. Utah is land-locked. Somewhat of a problem. Guess I'll stick with chocolate.
Sunday, September 6, 2015
School Started?
The only real indication of fall for us is the drop in temperature. Everyone else has started a school year. We really haven't. Derek was cleared to attend school the 1st week for 1-2hrs a day. So he went til morning recess. We got oober lucky to have the same teacher he had for kindergarten (she now teaches 1st grade- we love Mrs. Benware!) Derek is such a quick learner and loved every second he got to be with all his classmates.
The last weekend of August we spent up at my sister's house for what we called "The Donovan Show." My sister, LaNan, had one son returning from a mission and another leaving for a mission (all within a week) so they both spoke in church. For the 1st time in a few years all my sisters and I were together. It was a par-tay! I went hiking with Minae (the oldest) and basked in the presence of my dynamic and powerful sisters. I needed their strength, love, and support. My 2 nephews whose missions brought us all together are stinkin' hilarious and completed the whole experience. Did I ever mention I am an aunt to the most rockin', cool, purely awesome nieces and nephews? If not, I just did.
That Sunday night, after arriving home, Derek developed a fever. This does NOT mean we give him Tylenol and send him off to bed. We have very specific instructions on how to handle fevers- depending on how high it is, duration, etc. We were instructed to take him to the ER. Blah. Blood cultures were drawn, but he seemed to be OK, so we were sent home about midnight. Bottom line, he'd gotten a cold and since he practically has no immune system, all his body has as a defense mechanism is to heat up, hence the fever.
Given all that, we figured school the next week was out of the question. So, we tried to start a pseudo school routine at home. Yeah... I think Mrs. Benware has much better motivating skills than me. We did OK. Guess we have lots more time to practice since the school year just began. It's extra difficult when Benjamin gets bored and gets in Derek's face. Thankfully he starts preschool this coming week. It will be good for him on many levels, and therefore good for the whole family.
Thursday was a loooooong chemo day for Derek. He and Tyler got home about 6p. Not long thereafter Derek got a fever. Again. I left work early and rushed him to the ER at the childrens hospital. He'd received a blood transfusion as part of his clinic day and so the doctors were extra cautious to make sure it wasn't a transfusion reaction. His blood counts were quite low at the ER visit and he was admitted (smart Me hadn't packed anything for an overnight stay- brilliant!).
Derek stayed 2 nights, just long enough to make sure a new set of blood cultures wasn't going to go positive. I got some of the best sleep being there with him. Who knew?! Not having housework to worry about and little Benjamin to be an alarm clock I almost felt like a teenager on Saturday morning again. But, we were very ready for discharge. We can all only handle so much screen time.
Benjamin was an angel through it all for Grandma and Grandpa Canova. Zachary did OK. He's teething and was therefore a bit of a pill. Thank goodness for a patient grandma and Tylenol (totally justifiable in this circumstance, phew!).
Well now that was a fun, large, hiccup in our life!
The last weekend of August we spent up at my sister's house for what we called "The Donovan Show." My sister, LaNan, had one son returning from a mission and another leaving for a mission (all within a week) so they both spoke in church. For the 1st time in a few years all my sisters and I were together. It was a par-tay! I went hiking with Minae (the oldest) and basked in the presence of my dynamic and powerful sisters. I needed their strength, love, and support. My 2 nephews whose missions brought us all together are stinkin' hilarious and completed the whole experience. Did I ever mention I am an aunt to the most rockin', cool, purely awesome nieces and nephews? If not, I just did.
That Sunday night, after arriving home, Derek developed a fever. This does NOT mean we give him Tylenol and send him off to bed. We have very specific instructions on how to handle fevers- depending on how high it is, duration, etc. We were instructed to take him to the ER. Blah. Blood cultures were drawn, but he seemed to be OK, so we were sent home about midnight. Bottom line, he'd gotten a cold and since he practically has no immune system, all his body has as a defense mechanism is to heat up, hence the fever.
Given all that, we figured school the next week was out of the question. So, we tried to start a pseudo school routine at home. Yeah... I think Mrs. Benware has much better motivating skills than me. We did OK. Guess we have lots more time to practice since the school year just began. It's extra difficult when Benjamin gets bored and gets in Derek's face. Thankfully he starts preschool this coming week. It will be good for him on many levels, and therefore good for the whole family.
Thursday was a loooooong chemo day for Derek. He and Tyler got home about 6p. Not long thereafter Derek got a fever. Again. I left work early and rushed him to the ER at the childrens hospital. He'd received a blood transfusion as part of his clinic day and so the doctors were extra cautious to make sure it wasn't a transfusion reaction. His blood counts were quite low at the ER visit and he was admitted (smart Me hadn't packed anything for an overnight stay- brilliant!).
Derek stayed 2 nights, just long enough to make sure a new set of blood cultures wasn't going to go positive. I got some of the best sleep being there with him. Who knew?! Not having housework to worry about and little Benjamin to be an alarm clock I almost felt like a teenager on Saturday morning again. But, we were very ready for discharge. We can all only handle so much screen time.
Benjamin was an angel through it all for Grandma and Grandpa Canova. Zachary did OK. He's teething and was therefore a bit of a pill. Thank goodness for a patient grandma and Tylenol (totally justifiable in this circumstance, phew!).
Well now that was a fun, large, hiccup in our life!
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